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Pick at the pops: 14 May 2007

Our weekly round-up of the weird and wonderful world of pop music...

Father Christmas, bare-faced conspiracy, terrifying screams, national humiliation and fat-bosomed men in sequinned bodystockings – it can only be the Eurovision Song Contest.

Saturday’s event was lavish, haphazard and a travesty. Terry Wogan, in wisecracking overdrive, tried to tell us how well it was staged and how marvellous the set was, but all eyes were on the Ukrainian Timmy Mallet with the fake breasts, and the Tatu-and-a-half gyrating for Russia, and the fun-size Tanita Tikaram caterwauling under Serbia’s colours and… and… Scooch. The oldest manufactured band on the planet worked tirelessly, but, well, rather feebly. For more than half of the judging phase, the tantalising prospect remained that Scooch wouldn’t pick up a single point, but then Ireland went and ruined it – first by pitying them with seven points, then by being the one country standing between Scooch and the wooden spoon. Sterling stuff all round. Proud to be British etc.

The rest of the contest was a massive carve-up, with the seven million Eastern European splinter countries contriving a victory for Marija Serifovic, that pint-pot Tanita from Serbia. Even a second airing couldn’t lodge the dirge in the mind. We’ll never understand these continentals.

What’s that? There was OTHER pop stuff going on last week? Ah, yes: Prince was over here. The indigo imp played a surprise show at Camden’s Koko – attended by all the Fearne Cottons – and launched ticket sales for his August gigs, where all lucky punters will receive a free copy of his new album. It’s almost as if he thinks no one will buy it. Oh.

Another exciting London summer show is pantomime character Mika’s date at Somerset House, for which the overgrown stage school kid wants his audience to turn up in fancy dress. Shouldn’t be much of a stretch for Mika fans, eh?

Matthew Horton

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